18 Questions to Consider Next Time You Get Feedback

5 min readJan 19, 2019

This article is a follow up to my previous thoughts on feedback, as a tool for self growth and development.

To see all 6 Topics (18 questions) scroll further down…

I have some feedback…

Often receiving feedback is something that is done either formally or informally. We either draw input over frequent check-ins with people we trust, like mentors, tutors, coaches. Or, it’s part of the system we subscribe to. Maybe regular monthly meetings are scheduled with your manager during a long project; or a project retrospective is held at the end of every project phase.

A blend of these two styles is not just good, it’s critical. It’s difficult for expectations to be managed and information to be communicated without closing the loop between people, without hosting that dialogue. And the more ways there are to facilitate this, the better the outcome for all.

Two ways

There’s also two ways as an individual to go about being a part of this dialogue.

One is to be passive. Digest the feedback. Ask the questions you thought should be asked — that’s if you ask any at all! Smile, nod, and look sheepish where necessary. In some cases, respond completely obliviously to the thought of change.*

The other is to be proactive, and realise the opportunity that being able to have a dialogue (whether structure or fluid) allows.

I’m after some feedback

As someone who sets goals, aims to improve, seeks to exceed expectations, or endeavours to understand one’s self, the notion of receiving measured and critical evaluation from an outsider is paramount.

And for as much as it may be uncomfortable to appraise and accept another’s judgment or critique of yourself, it is often the most astringent and uncomfortable of criticisms handed down to us that truly provide us the most value and insight. If we are not too blind or affronted to see.

Other times, feedback sessions are a great way to check knowledge, and learn about resources that you didn’t realise were available. Usually this bubbles up in the discussion. Or they can be a way to get a better understanding of risks and expectations, by getting another’s perspective. And sometimes, they are a way to truly get comfort on why certain decisions were made, or to uncover the root cause behind certain motions.

6 Questions

To help anyone reading this fully appreciate feedback sessions, rather than avoid them, I’ve listed the following questions.

I use these myself where I can. Often there aren’t times to use these at all. And rarely do you get the chance to use them all. But by gliding between the following topics, considering these questions as a prompt, I can find it helpful to prioritise which to focus on, and from asking myself: from which questions will I derive the most value. It’s always a case by case basis.

So here are some questions that you might like to consider asking next time you have asked for someone’s feedback, whether that be a coaching catch-up, project retrospective, mentor check-in, performance review, or otherwise.

1. Project Constraints

Looking back, here’s where I think there were a couple rough patches that we didn’t anticipate. What do you think were the three biggest constraints we had to deal with that we didn’t anticipate from the start?
Is there anything you feel we could have done at the time to have anticipated these?

2. Support

How well did you feel I supported you and the rest of the team? Within my role, where do you think I can draw my attention to improve this for next time?
Is there anything you think I can do to work on this in the mean time?
These are the areas I noted that I felt most uncomfortable in. Do you think this is justified? Is there anything you think I can do, or somewhere I can go to, to work on these?

3. Communication

How well did you feel I communicated with you?
Is there anything I can do or know for next time to better communicate with you or the team?
Was there anything [in terms of communication] that you noted worked really well, that maybe we can consider for next time?

4. Mistakes Made

[In regards to that mistake I made,] So that we can work towards making sure it doesn’t happen again, is there anything you think I could have done at the time which I can replicate to mitigate this from happening in the future?
Is there any control we could have put in place?
[In regards to that miscalculation I made,] Earlier in the process/project, was there anything you think I could have done to come to this realisation earlier?

5. Choices and Behaviour

Do you feel like there is anything you could (or should) have done differently, looking back on the project?
Keeping in mind what the circumstances were at the time, is there anywhere you think I could have acted/performed differently?
Looking back, is there anywhere that you think I underestimated the importance of something? Is there anything I didn’t do that you think I can do next time, to make sure I make a better judgment?

6. Performance

How did you feel I performed, in terms of what was expected [of me/of someone in my role]?
How was my behaviour and composure throughout? Are there any areas you think I may need to be more conscious of for next time?
What do you think were the 3 biggest opportunities for improvement / weakness / areas in need of improvement?
What do you think were my 3 biggest strengths, or ways I may have exceeded expectations relative to what was expected or what you have seen before?

Feel free to ask yourself if these questions are right for you, and if there are any more things you can do to help break down any barriers to help you reach your full potential.

*See Defense Mechanisms, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Dunning-Kruger Effect, to name a few reasons why certain people are less receptive to feedback than others.